Anyone that frequents this blog over the years can probably guess that I avoid getting too personal. Not family type personal, Melanie type personal. I've tried to remedy the situation a little bit and started (yet another) blog that is truly my journal. No one reads it. Posts are started and rarely finished... but it's something. I can handle bullet points of personal stuff, but as my husband can attest to, I don't like 'feelings'. I don't like talking about 'feelings' and unless in the optimal situation, I get uncomfortable when other people talk about their 'feelings'. Which is why I am probably using air quotes for the word 'feelings'.
Anyway... I've been meaning to write about this for a while now, and my sister and cousin have recently posted about it, but it sort of walks the line of too personal and so I avoid it. Also, in an overall sense I'm afraid it might be bragging or something, because I've made some significant progress.
I weighed myself the morning we went to the hospital to deliver Milo. I can't tell you if it was the absolute highest I've ever been I hope so, but I weighted a LOT when I came home from serving a mission, and I weighed a LOT before I delivered Hyrum. I've blocked those numbers out I guess. I do remember what I weighed right as Justin left for deployment, and I've lost around 25 pounds (which was just over a year ago).
Milo is 18 months old and in that time I'm down 72 pounds. And all but about 20 did not "melt off" as some mothers supposedly experience after childbirth. I worked hard for each one of those pounds. And too many of them have been lost and gained multiple times!!! I've certainly lost what I gained during his pregnancy. And the 10 or so pounds I kept from Kate's. I think I'm within 5-10 pounds of what I weighed when I get pregnant with Hyrum even. And then I'll start working on the 10 or so I put on between meeting Justin and when we started trying to get pregnant.
These are the things I have going for me -I love working out. I really do love being at the gym. I'm an early to bed, early to rise type of person. If I can manage to get to bed before 10:30/11:00 I'm up at 6 am, so I might as well go to the gym. I've also been better at getting a really good work out while there and I just started doing a Pilates video or two online later in the day. I struggle when Justin is out of town or has to start his day too early for me to go to the gym in the morning. I'm not so good at working out at home. I don't push myself as hard as I need to if I'm doing a video.
I know how to eat healthy. This might seem silly, but it's important. I've know how or can find out how to lighten up almost any meal and even a lot of desserts. I know that if I get online and choose what I'm going to order at a restaurant or even fast food place I make healthier decisions. I don't mind a lot of healthy substitutes in cooking. I really like Spaghetti Squash instead of noodles or even hash browns. I prefer sweet potatoes in all forms to regular ones. We've never had white bread in the house. Unless it was for some specific recipe, I've always had whole wheat bread (and pasta usually).
And, I have incredible will power -for short periods of time. And this is where I think my problem lies. I am GREAT at extreme deprivation diets, short term eating plans, or crazy exercise regimes... until I'm not. And depending on how long the 'not' lasts for, I can undo all the progress I've made. My weight tracking graph has so many ups and downs it's hard to see straight. I also have a hard time sticking to something if I'm not seeing almost immediate results.
I know I'm not alone in this. Why else would weight loss and exercise programs & equipment be such a lucrative business. My new venture includes another 12 week long "Healthy Living Challenge", this time with a large enough group of people that the winner stands to win several hundred dollars. We track what we eat, amount of exercise, sleep and water we get each day. Make sure to get at least 3 vegi's and 2 fruits (thank goodness for green smoothies!) and limit ourselves to one treat a week. Maybe money will be enough of an incentive to kick my will power into high gear.
I also started "Clean Eating" this week as well. It's been good. I'm only 3 days into it, and it takes a lot of forethought, (shopping and prepping) but so far its been easier than I thought, and I, once again, saw some immediate results on the scale, which is always helpful. My original plan was to do it for a week, but I might try a full 30 days, or close to it. Justin and I are going out of town in 3 weeks for a weekend and I've found that it's very difficult eating out with this regimen. And really, it's a much healthier way to live, so here's to hoping I keep it up at least in spirit long past that date.
So... that's what I'm all about it seems. Driving my kids all over the valley (baseball has started again), trying to keep a house clean, exercising and losing weight. It's what 90% of my thoughts and time are spent on. I suppose that's just life, right?
