Doing Hard Things (or, my life in numbers)

0= Number of times I've blogged this summer

1= Number of times we went camping (the kids and I) during the summer

2= Extended family weekends we went on (the kids and I, once at the Gough cabin and once at Denise's family reunion)

3= Number of kids I'll have in school (eventually) this year.  

4= Number of days I spent in my happy place, Boston, with Justin back in June. 

5= Number of full days I was without the van for two different mechanical problems (once while I was essentially stranded in Logan during the reunion). 

6= Approximate number of books I've read during the summer.  Including an AMAZING-I-CAN'T-TELL-ENOUGH-PEOPLE-ABOUT-IT book, called When Breath Becomes Air.
7= number of days in a week.  I remember once upon a time I used to get bored during a day.  Now, I can't seem to fit in everything that needs to be done in a week.  Let alone what SHOULD be done.  

8= weeks -the age of the puppy we took home on August 2nd.  Maggie Lou the Golden Doodle 

9= Number of times Maggie has pooped on my carpet.  Just kidding, it's not that high.  Maybe it is, I'm not counting. 

10= Number of continuous hours we were in Fenway, for a tour, luncheon, batting practice, and game while we were there on vacation.  Not to mention the 4 or 5 hours we were there the night before for batting practice and the first game.
12= number of weeks Justin was out of work.  Also, that's about how long he's been at his new company, which he enjoys a lot.  

13= months I've been working (technically it's a few more, but since I had my own cases). 

14= number of times I've attended a Barre class this month.  A new high for me.  

10= Approximate number of months my mom has been living with a cancer diagnosis

23=number of things we actually crossed off of our summer bucket list.
24= Number of days the kids took swim lessons (3 sessions) A new record.  All the kids in the pool at the same time without me in it. Also a new record. 

36= my age.  Definitely not young.  But, not really old.  It's a weird place to be... these middle years.  

37=number of things we wrote on our summer bucket list (including a few added afterwards by the kids, like Legoland and sleeping on the tramp)

60= Age my dad turned this summer.  We celebrated by going up to Snowbird and spending the day riding all of the thrill rides they have there.  Without my dad.  Just kidding, he showed up for the last 2 hours.  

86=Number of days until Hyrum's 8th birthday.  We keep track because... kids.  But, also, we started reading the Book of Mormon on Hyrum's 7th birthday with the goal to finish before he's baptized.  We're currently just ahead of schedule.  

90= seconds seems like a short amount of time.  Unless you're spending that time in various plank positions during Barre workouts.  I'm getting better.  Stronger.  Last time I only came out once during that time.  

96= hours is a shortened work/school week.  A decent time for a quick vacation getaway.  A brief work trip. But, a very long time to be continuously hooked up to poison (chemo), which is what my mom is signing up for on Monday.  

102= Number of days until Kate's birthday.  Because every time I look up Hyrum's countdown, we have to look at Kate's as well.  

294= Number of steps up a narrow spiral staircase in the Bunker Hill Memorial tower that we climbed.
521= Home run count of David Ortiz the night we saw him hit one.  He tied Ted Williams record that night, and has since added quite a few more.   

1,000= dollars it cost to buy Maggie.  A dog.  A dog that whines and poops.  We paid that kind of money.  And that was pretty cheap! (my idea was a rescue, for the record)
12,000= the cost (in dollars) of one of my mom's chemo pills.

Doing Hard Things (or, my life in numbers)

0= Number of times I've blogged this summer

1= Number of times we went camping (the kids and I) during the summer

2= Extended family weekends we went on (the kids and I, once at the Gough cabin and once at Denise's family reunion)

3= Number of kids I'll have in school (eventually) this year.  

4= Number of days I spent in my happy place, Boston, with Justin back in June. 

5= Number of full days I was without the van for two different mechanical problems (once while I was essentially stranded in Logan during the reunion). 

6= Approximate number of books I've read during the summer.  Including an AMAZING-I-CAN'T-TELL-ENOUGH-PEOPLE-ABOUT-IT book, called When Breath Becomes Air.
7= number of days in a week.  I remember once upon a time I used to get bored during a day.  Now, I can't seem to fit in everything that needs to be done in a week.  Let alone what SHOULD be done.  

8= weeks -the age of the puppy we took home on August 2nd.  Maggie Lou the Golden Doodle 

9= Number of times Maggie has pooped on my carpet.  Just kidding, it's not that high.  Maybe it is, I'm not counting. 

10= Number of continuous hours we were in Fenway, for a tour, luncheon, batting practice, and game while we were there on vacation.  Not to mention the 4 or 5 hours we were there the night before for batting practice and the first game.  

13= months I've been working (technically it's a few more, but since I had my own cases). 

14= number of times I've attended a Barre class this month.  A new high for me.  

10= Approximate number of months my mom has been living with a cancer diagnosis

23=number of things we actually crossed off of our summer bucket list.
24= Number of days the kids took swim lessons (3 sessions) A new record.  All the kids in the pool at the same time without me in it. Also a new record. 

36= my age.  Definitely not young.  But, not really old.  It's a weird place to be... these middle years.  

37=number of things we wrote on our summer bucket list (including a few added afterwards by the kids, like Legoland and sleeping on the tramp)

60= Age my dad turned this summer.  We celebrated by going up to Snowbird and spending the day riding all of the thrill rides they have there.  Without my dad.  Just kidding, he showed up for the last 2 hours.  

86=Number of days until Hyrum's 8th birthday.  We keep track because... kids.  But, also, we started reading the Book of Mormon on Hyrum's 7th birthday with the goal to finish before he's baptized.  We're currently just ahead of schedule.  

90= seconds seems like a short amount of time.  Unless you're spending that time in various plank positions during Barre workouts.  I'm getting better.  Stronger.  Last time I only came out once during that time.  

96= hours is a shortened work/school week.  A decent time for a quick vacation getaway.  A brief work trip. But, a very long time to be continuously hooked up to poison (chemo), which is what my mom is signing up for on Monday.  

102= Number of days until Kate's birthday.  Because every time I look up Hyrum's countdown, we have to look at Kate's as well.  

294= Number of steps up a narrow spiral staircase in the Bunker Hill Memorial tower that we climbed.
521= Home run count of David Ortiz the night we saw him hit one.  He tied Ted Williams record that night, and has since added quite a few more.   

1,000= dollars it cost to buy Maggie.  A dog.  A dog that whines and poops.  We paid that kind of money.  And that was pretty cheap! (my idea was a rescue, for the record)
12,000= the cost (in dollars) of one of my mom's chemo pills.

What a year

At least once in high school and a couple of times in college I took a questionnaire where you checked different boxes to determine the amount of stress you're experiencing in your life.  I've thought that piece a paper a lot over the last 12 months or so.  

Having your house up for sale (and keeping it clean) is certainly a stressor. Along with the process of finding and purchasing a new one.  Not to mention the actual move, which ours had a few added headaches, waiting, stress, and a sprained ankle.  

New ward.  New callings.  New schools.  New friends.  

New job.  New scheduling conflicts, learning the actual job, worrying that it's an okay thing that I actually have a job.  

My mom receiving a terminal cancer diagnosis.    

Justin is currently underemployed, to say the least.  

The family (side) business had a few ups and downs and we sold the building, but set up shop in a different location for now.  

Justin continues to travel and spend extended periods of time out of town for the Navy. 

Add that to the everyday excitement of getting kids and parents everywhere they need to be, when they need to be, fit in a bit of exercise, fun, sleep, and the occasional clean house and it's no wonder I am currently feeling like the weight of an elephant is sitting on my chest.  I can't tell if I'm waiting for it to go away, or if this is what being adult just feels like.  

Mothers Day

Mothers Day, like a lot of holidays, seem to mean different things to you depending on what phase of life you're in.  I can't say I remember a lot of Mothers Days growing up.  I do remember 1988 though.  My mom was still in the hospital, having just delivered Matt.  At the end of sacrament meeting they were acknowledging all the moms.  Asking who had the oldest child, who had the most kids, etc.  When they got to who had the youngest child my dad made me stand up. There were a lot of laughs.  Everyone knew I was standing in place for my mom, but I suppose it was still funny to see an 8 year old stand up.

Mothers Days in New Zealand were exciting times because it meant we got to call home and talk to our family.  And I know I spent quite a few Mothers Days in my 20's waiting and longing a bit for a time that I would be a mother.

I don't know if I have any concrete memories of my mothers days for the last 8 years.  I love (and have kept, for the most part) all of the homemade cards and pictures I've received.  Usually teachers in school and primary have done a good job at helping the kids create masterful works of art every year.  And, Justin hasn't done a bad job himself over the years.

This Mothers Day feels a little different.  They say that you don't know what you've got until it's gone.  I would argue that isn't always the case.  When faced with the realization that someone won't be in your life for as long as you expected them to be, I think you're allowed to realize what you've got.

Just about every time I pick up the phone to call my mom I'm grateful I can do that.  And every time there's an opportunity to spend time with her, and particularly when my kids are able to come as well, I take it.  Despite the difficulty and inconvenience that may result because of it.  I find myself looking for opportunities to create lasting memories with my mom.

When I became a mom I instantly realized how much I still needed mine.  And when I realized that she wasn't going to be around forever, I instantly needed her even more.

My mom is the family ask-a-nurse (being an actual nurse not withstanding).  She out shops me 10 to 1, and pretty much clothes my children.  She organizes and opens her home for countless family gatherings despite the stress it brings.
She went back to school not once, but twice.  She is a hard worker and a list maker.   She's always on time and plan ahead for everything.  She mends my kids clothes and toys and provides with the tools and supplies for nearly any and all crafty project I attempt.
She's a master decorator and loves buying things big and small for all of her grandchildren.  Her joy truly comes from knowing her 'children walk in truth'.
She has faced her current trial head on and with determination.  I know she gets down, feels scared, gets sick and tired and being sick and tired, but she continues on.  Sometimes with a good attitude, sometimes when she doesn't want to, but she seems to just deal with it, the same way she's dealt with whatever else she's been asked to endure, much like her own mother.  My Grandma Petersen was another strong and independent matriarch of a fine family.  She endured, she enjoyed her family and she made it a priority to provide memorable experiences and memento's for her entire family.
I hope and pray my children will have wonderful memories of their grandmother and continue to have the opportunity to make a million more with her.      

Mothers Day Pics

Every mother loves family pictures, right?  (Except for the mother that actually has to be in the pics, pick out the clothes and wrestle with small children to smile at the camera and HOLD STILL)

So... it was time for a new family portrait that just happened to coincide with Mothers Day (and an upcoming new baby for our chosen photographer).

Enjoy...

Thanks Jen -they're all great :)

April in May

I've learned something about myself in the last year, after starting working again.  Well, technically, I have learned a lot of things, but we'll stick with this one for now.  I like associating with people that choose to open their hearts and work with people with disabilities as much as I like associating with people that have the disabilities.  It takes a special person to be able to work with special people.  

This week a young person I worked with finished her particular race in this life.  She was trapped in a body that never worked properly and never allowed her the freedoms that most of us are born with.  Yet, she was one of the most happy and upbeat people I've met.  She had an infections smile and laugh, which she seemed to always be doing. She told everyone that she loved and had missed them -and here's the thing -she really meant it.  Everyone that worked with her immediately loved her, and I was no exception.  I was grateful to spend what little time I did with her, and know that that she is experiencing a particular sense of joy and peace that she was denied for so long.  

A body in motion...

Tends to stay in motion.

Justin and I attended a gala for a childrens charity with friends a couple of months ago.  They announced that they had a 10K coming up and for some reason I thought I'd give it a try.

I also started attending Barre classes at Pure Barre with a friend of mine, averaging 3-4 times a week.  I got a little addicted to going as often as I could.  I felt like it was a great cross training activity with all of the running, which was wreaking havoc on my knees.

I was feeling strong and healthy.  I was still eating healthy, and even though I wasn't technically losing weight, I was feeling really good.

The week before the 10K I managed a 6.5 and 7 mile run.  During the long runs I started having a pain in my foot.  I also finally called my doctor to get my knee checked out. I was assuming it would take a while to get into an orthopedic dr.  It didn't.  I think I saw him 2 days before the race.  I let me him know that I was going to run on Saturday regardless of what he told me.  Luckily he ruled out any major (surgical) and the xrays showed a pretty good-looking knee.  I guess I have issues with my patella pulling to one side, but he gave my a few exercises and stretches to strengthen the muscles.  Most of the recommended exercises were ones that we do a lot in the Barre classes, so I'm sure I would have been in worse shape with the increases of my miles if I hadn't been attending those already.

So... the race day came (which happened to be the same day as my mother in laws Multiple Sclerosis 5K walk).  I went with a friend, which was a little bit more experienced runner than I am.  I knew I could do the miles, so my only goal was to not stop running.

It was cold and windy, but warmed up just enough to make it comfortable a few minutes after we started running.  The route was pretty great, little hills and valleys.  Every time I'd be going up a small hill I'd want to stop and walk, and then I'd be on the way back down.  Around mile 4 the pain in my foot came back with a vengeance, but I kept pushing through.  I did the whole thing, and a bit faster than I thought I'd be able to.

Then, I walked over to the Trax station (with a bunch of ice I stole from the water bottle pool in one of my race bags) and iced my foot while I rode to meet my family downtown.  I was a little late for the start of the walk, so I walked a REALLY fast mile or so until I met up with them.  We finished the 5K and I finally got a shower.

I spent most of Sunday alternating between feeling like I never really need to run again, to spending time on runnersworld.com figuring out how to treat and prevent my foot injury and picking out half marathons.  I found one in August.  

Change

"There is nothing permanent but change"  "Change is inevitable.  Progress is optional."

"Everything changes.  Nothing stays the same."   "All great changes are preceded by chaos"

This has been a year (12 months) of changes.

New house.  New ward and neighborhood.  New school. New friend.  New baseball teams.

I started working.  Justin is looking for a new job.  We're changing the way another job (business) works on a day to day basis.

Changing the way I push my body and my expectations of it.  Trying new things, running a 10K, taking Barre classes, working with a health coach.  

Changes in family's health status, which has oddly (or maybe it's not so odd) changed a lot of what I think of, how I spend my time, and my own view of mortality.

I'd like to say that I'm ready for things to say the same for a while... but I have a feeling that won't be the case.

Easter in Alpine

Justin wanted do go up to the Gough Cabin for a quick weekend, and we decided on Easter Weekend.  We offered the invite to by brothers, and Gordon and Jessica were able to come.  (Jodi and my parents were on their way back from California).

We didn't 'do' a whole lot, besides eat good food, play games after the kids (finally) went to sleep, and sent the boys and big kids out to risk their lives heading towards the tree's down the hill.  We also attended the ward in Etna (it's as exciting as it sounds -Gordon and I were trying to count the number of cowboy boots we could see (I lost count).

Easter tubing from Melanie Lafeen on Vimeo.

Caucusing

First of all, I never realized that caucusing was a word.  Second, although I feel like I've supported the system by supporting Justin to attend (and I've never missed a general election or most primary elections in the last 10+ years) I have certainly never attended anything like I did this evening.

It. Was. Awesome!  It was awesome to see so many people taking time out of their lives to vote.  It was awesome to see so many democrats in one place.  It was awesome to see so many people waiting in line longer than any Disneyland ride I've ever seen, and they didn't even get an 'I voted' sticker.  It's been awesome to see so many friends post similar posts on social media.  It's just awesome.

I was also lucky enough to not have to take the kids with me.  I've taken them voting before and made sure they knew what I was doing and afterwards who I voted for, but I'm glad that I found a sitter.  I hope that Justin's and my enthusiasm over the process and the idea that it's important to be involved and have your voice heard will spill over to our children.

I'm usually one of the more cynical and pessimistic people around, but this process invigorates me and actually gives me hope for a future that for a majority of Americans will be better than it was for the previous generation.

I read a quote earlier in the week by David Foster Wallace (an American author) that said: "In reality, there is no such thing as not voting: You either vote by voting, or you vote by staying home and tacitly doubling the value of some diehard's vote".  I've never really agreed with the 'head in the sand' mentality of politics or our voting responsibility.  There isn't a perfect candidate for any office for any person, but you have an obligation (in my humble opinion) to make a choice.  In life there really isn't any fence sitters.

Drumroll please...

For Christmas this year Dave and Lisa gave each of the kids (adult kids) a trip.  Baseball for Justin and Dustin, and a Golf trip for Kris.  The catch was, we had to / got to plan it ourselves.  I'm pretty sure Dustin and I would have bought our tickets to Fenway that night... but we waited.
And waited.
And then I waited a bit more.
I finally started to get a little antsy as February turned into March and I was convinced we'd never get tickets to a game.
We worked on a place for the kids for a weekend in June, but still no tickets.

Then Justin went above and beyond (saying that the game part was for my birthday).

The two of us are headed to Boston and The Happiest Place On Earth (Disneyland has nothing on Fenway in my book) for not one, but TWO games against the Mariners.  A VIP tour of Fenway and a reception with an active roster player.

I'm more than just a little excited :) 88 days and counting...

Disneyland 2016

Well... Here's the play by play. Or, if not an actual play by play, a general recap. Maybe the top 10. 
That's a better way to do it. A top 10. 

10- Disneyland at Christmas/winter. The last 3 times I've been to Disneyland was in December. I love Christmasy Disney. And I love Disney in the winter. I think I'd have a hard time going in the summer, when it's hot and the crowds are so much bigger. It might be colder, but I prefer jackets and gloves to heat and crowds. 

9- Flying. I dislike road trips. And I loathe road trips with small children. I'm glad that we were able to fly. The kids did A pretty good job on both flights. Even on the way home, when Kate and Hyrum had their own row. 

8- TSA pre check. Thanks to Justin's status with Delta and military benefits we were all (the 5 of us) pre checked. No taking off shoes and jackets. No declaring liquids. No taking electronic devices out of their carriers. It's awesome. 

7- Favorite Rides.  Milo's was anything that even remotely looked like a train and Buzz Lightyear.   I lost count how many times we rode that one.  The two big kids loved Star Tours.  Everyone liked Little Mermaid, that might have been one of Justin's favorites.  I LOVE Tower of Terror -the big kids tried that one, once.  They did NOT like it.  But, Denise, April and Austin and I rode that one a few times.  Everyone LOVED the new Car's Ride, and we managed that one a couple of times too.  Hyrum and Kate were pretty brave and tried a lot of roller coasters.  Kate usually ended up crying, but she was almost always willing to go on the next one.  

6- Souvenirs Our kids are pretty good on vacations as far as asking to buy stuff.  Usually we prep them beforehand that they get to pick one toy out for the trip.  At first they want everything that they see, but after some suggestions and waiting periods, they usually come home with something memorable.  This year Hyrum wanted the Mickey Wizard Hat and Kate picked out a Else/Anna combo doll.  I just picked something out for Milo, a light up Buzz toy.  It was cheap.  And he loves it.  Win-win. 

5- STAR WARS Okay... so I'm not a HUGE Star Wars fan.  I remember watching Star Wars and Indian Jones (my dad must have liked Harrison Ford) a lot.  But, I'm by no means a fanatic about it.  I actually rented the original three from the library sometime ago and the Hyrum and Kate sort of liked them.  Guns and Lasers, what's not to like.  But, Justin took the big kids to see the new Star Wars movie after Christmas, and I think we have three little Star Wars fans at home.  (Milo sings/hums the Imperial Death March pretty much all day every day.) So, if you're a fan of Star Wars (even if you're not, we were able to somewhat convert even the most staunchest of Star Trek fans, Grandpa Lafeen, over the the Dark Side), Disneyland is the place to be.  They are in the process of infusing every square inch of that place with Star Wars.  And, it worked.  The big kids got to to the Padawan Training, and defeated Darth Vader -which they totally loved.  

4- Going with first timers.  It's always fun taking people to places that you like when they've never been before.  April and Austin had both never been, and it had been 20+ years since Scott and Denise had been.  We go so seldom, that there's always a few new things every time we go too.  

3-Fast passes. Justin had never used them and was a doubting Mufasa. I converted him. I converted ALL of them! Also, the parks for the first 2-3 hours. Hardly any waiting on any ride. 

2- Going with family. This trip was spent with Grandma and Grandpa Lafeen, April, and her boyfriend Austin. Disneyland is a fun way to spent time with family and it also makes young kids easier to handle!! 

#1 The night shows.  As strange it might sound, especially if you've never been to Disneyland, this makes the Disney Magic real.  To big and little kids alike. Maybe they pipe something in the air, or maybe you're just happy you get a reprieve from standing in lines for 10 hours, but there is something magical about the night shows and fireworks. I thought it was bordering on child abuse keeping my the kids up so late, but they begged us to stay for the parade and fireworks the last night, so they must have felt the magic too.  We saw Fantasmic over in California adventure land the first night. It's not my favorite, but the kids definitely had that look of awe as they watched it. We pretty much missed the fireworks trying to get to the fireworks display that night, but we had pretty great seats for the Paint the Night Parade and saw everything they projected on the castle for the new fireworks show the last two nights.  It was awesome. And, you somehow walk out afterwards just thinking the world is great, full of wonderful, kind, creative people. It's just magic. 

And what's a top ten without a bottom three? (It's a stretch, but it's not all roses). 

1- Taking a 3 year old that wants to be held constantly. And will only accept mom holding him 85% of the time. 
2- $$ It is what it is. And, thanks to a few strategic Christmas gifts (Disney gift cards) and bringing a bunch of snacks (one carry-on was pretty empty on the flight back) we managed pretty well. Not to mentions the military discounted park tickets. 
3- Waiting and waiting and waiting in lines. My kids don't do well waiting in lines. And, I know what you're thinking, what kid DOES well waiting in lines. It seems absolutely IMPOSSIBLE, for Hyrum and almost inconceivable for Kate to stand still. Ever. So, the amount of climbing, touching, bumping into, and overall movement in small space was a nightmare. For everyone. 

Honorable mentions
Turkey leg
Milo finding a girlfriend on the last Jungle Cruise
Meeting a few characters, especially the princesses for Kate 
Hilarious photo shots during rides.- April was particularly photogenic during most of them. 
People watching
Diet Coke Breaks
The First Aid clinic on main street
The Go Pro

Until next time Disney...