Important Questions

Okay... my friend Bryon posted a comment over on the baby blog and I thought it was best answered here -since they are very important questions and I may need the help of family and friends to ensure that I follow through on my answers.

This isn't about your post; but I need to know a few things about you (as our friendship contract is about to renew):
Things I need to know about you and your baby (this goes for you too Justin):
What is your position on:
1. Child's voice on the answering machine? As I have never had an answering machine, this seems like an easy one. However, I imagine in the next couple of years Justin and I will break down and get a home phone and then we will have a machine. I'm going to still say no. I actually don't mind when I hear kids on the machine, but you definitely can't understand what's being said. But... if you actually NEED to understand what's being said on the machine, you're pretty dense -you just start talking at the beep.

2. People touching your belly (without asking)? No. Please no. I've heard about and even seen this happening. Just because you're pregnant does NOT mean your belly is no longer personal property. If you're within the viewing distance of this blog, please don't ask to touch my belly. I'm too nice to say no, but I promise, unless we've lived with each other at some point of our lives, I don't want you to.

3. You having others touch your belly (without them asking)? I think I was pretty clear with the previous question. I'm not going to grab your hand and have you feel my belly -even if it's kicking or something. The only exception to that rule is probably Justin.

4. Eating food that was previously in your child's mouth? Yuck. I'll be honest, I may steal of few things of kids plates that they're eating, but nothing that's been in their mouth. Seriously, maybe it's the morning sickness, but I feel like I'm going to throw up just thinking about it.

5. Lifting your child up to smell its butt in public? I'm going to say no. I don't understand that aspect of parenting. I can promise it won't happen in 'public' -but something tells me that I'm going to check, I think it's just something that you have to do and you don't even realize you've started doing it. I'll try to be careful though.

6. Your child running around the room in sacrament? No, no, and no. Coming from a rather large and noisy ward, I can safely say that I will not allow that. Same goes with screaming kids as well. TAKE THEM OUT -you know you'd like the break as well!

7. Diapers as the only clothing in public? No.

8. The gateway as a recurring water park retreat? Again, no.

9. Using the term "Sorry...I'm pregnant."? Okay... this one is kind of fun. And, I know for a fact that Justin has used the term "Sorry, my wife's pregnant" a little too much already at this stage of the game. I'll try to not use that exact term, and replace it with "Sorry, I can't lift heavy things", or "Sorry, I just don't feel very good", or my personal favorite, "Sorry that interferes with my nap" instead of just saying "Sorry, I'm pregnant."

I wanted to add one more as a rebuttal for something that my sister said. Guess what Jodi, I will be using a baby sling. Which means, as you put it, I will be wearing my child. I won't go into all of the reasons why, but I am. So you'll just have to deal with it!