Stolen

I saw this mentioned here, and she actually took it from here.

Here's a few of my favorites.


-I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

-There is a great need for sarcasm font.

-I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

-Was learning cursive really necessary?

-Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

-How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

-MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

-I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

-Bad decisions make good stories.

-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

-It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

-I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

-Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

-I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

-The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fatty before dinner.