Friends

This is one of those posts that's probably just for me.  Feel free to skip it.  I suppose it might be interesting if I scan a few old photos, so we'll see if I get around to that.

I think I've been really fortunate in my life to have had great friends.  Many of them I've stayed close to through the years, different schools, cities, spouses, kids, divorces, just about everything.

My first best friend was Brent.  It was in Provo (we moved when I was 4 from there), but I remember him. I remember how much I liked him and how sad (I'd almost say devastated) I felt when we moved away.  It kind of makes me think about Hyrum.  He was truly sad when I realized that he wouldn't see Joshua again, and when we talk about getting a new house, he get's really sad that Max won't live by us anymore.  I remember years later drawing pictures of my 'future family' with Brent.  It included 8 kids, so not very realistic!

When we moved to Roy I became friends with Kristin.  She was in our ward and we went to school together.  It was a typical little girl friendship, we probably spent as many days and hours hating each other as we did playing with each other, but we hung in there long enough to create a real friendship that has lasted  even until today.  I took my kids over to see her new house last month and even if we got a year or two without seeing each other we still have a lot to talk about.

Then comes high school.  I had a few friends that were really important to me, in more ways than one, that were older and didn't go to school with me.  Cindy and Brandon come to mind.  We haven't kept in contact much (I suppose I have contact with Cindy on social media) but it doesn't mean they were less influential in my life at the time.  Cindy for the good (she served a mission) and Brandon... well, for different reasons.

 I was also friends with a bunch of student government type of guys too; Aaron, Bryon, Matt that were all year older than me.  I seemed to be closer to a few of those guys right after their missions though.  Aaron helped me realize that I wanted to serve a mission and really helped me see that I had received an answer to my prayers, but was too scared to admit it.  He also taught me out to geek out on jets and all things military, something that has come in handy later in life.  Matt... well, Matt introduced me to a fun way to spend your time late at night.  And, although he wasn't the best, I have to admit, he was my first.  And Bryon... well, we'll get to Bryon later.

In high school I hung out with a pretty big group of friends, especially my senior year.  We were all from  different walks of life; choir, seminary council, sport teams, student government.  But for some reason, a bunch of us really clicked and I had so much fun and lost so much sleep with that group that I'll always remember them.  Andrea was definitely my closest girl friend during that time.  She moved with her family to Germany a couple weeks after we graduated and I was sure that I'd never recover from losing her as a close friend.   We've stayed close over the years.  Spending more time with each other at different times.  Mostly, after we both moved to Salt Lake.  Always a good time, and always fun to be around.  We still talk via social media and the occasional text about strange dreams and whatnot.

I had a lot of close guy friends too; Rick, Ben, Jason, Shane, Tyson, Brian, and Taft.  I was definitely closer to Taft at least near the end of high school and through college and his mission.  He was one that we could sit and say nothing and be comfortable in the silence, or talk for hours about nothing.  He taught me how to play the guitar and to not ride my brakes going down a hill.  I learned how to rock climb with him and Ben, and how to stick up for myself when friends tried to walk all over me.  I hung out with his family a lot and Aunt LeeAnn loved giving him all the weekend leftovers when he went back up to school the month or two before I left for New Zealand.

Kathy, Bryon and I were quite a threesome for a long time.  Friends in high school, we started hanging out a lot after we graduated and Bryon returned from Portugal.  Kathy and I just happened to be in the same college apartment building (although different apartments) and for the next 2 years after that, we shared an apartment, and a room our third year.  After my mission and graduation from Utah State I moved in with her in Salt Lake while she finished grad school.  When she got her first 'real job' in Yuma, AZ, Bryon and I couldn't wait to go down and see her.  I've been down 2 or 3 times since, and we always make time for the three of us when she's up in Utah during the summer and Christmas breaks.  I'm not sure a bunch of 30 year olds could have been through more together (unless you are the characters of FRIENDS -a show we all loved and had an awesome finale party for).  High school, college, grad school, living in different states, marriages, (one for me and one for Byron -depending on the legal mood of the state of Utah), coming out, crazy families, first drinking experiences, I could go on.  We've gone through a few awkward moments where our friendship has felt strained or coerced, but so far, we've always come out on top.  I think it's safe to say we can all go weeks or months without talking and easily fall into familiar territory and old jokes quite easily.

Since those days I think my friends are a little different.  I made a lot of good friends at work, and I still manage to see quite a bit, or as often as we can all get together for lunch; April, Vicki, Jen, Emily.  Book club girls; Megan, Vicki (again), and Heather. And a roommate, Yvette.  I see her sister, Yvonne more often now, since she cuts my hair, but we were all quite close during those years.

It seems like family takes a lot of time, and I've had to make do with a different kind of relationship with a lot of people.  My sister, who we NEVER got along and couldn't have been more opposite during high school and college talk nearly ever day, same as my mom, another woman I never thought I'd see eye to eye on during my teenage years.  Most of my free time (when spent with another person) is spent with Justin, and that's the way it should be.

I remember talking to my mom on two different occasions.  Once was in junior high, when one of my friends was a boy.  I told her that we'd always be friends, no matter what.  She may have been a little insensitive, but spoke with wisdom when she told me that we wouldn't.  I had the same conversation with her about my guy friends in high school.  I was certain that we'd always be friends, regardless of where life took us and our spouses and everything.  She told me we wouldn't, that things would change when we started dating seriously and got married.  I guess she was only half right.  It's not the same, but thanks to the ease that social media and the internet allows, you can keep in contact with a lot of people that we wouldn't normally be able to.  One private message on facebook led to a dinner with Taft and his wife in Denver a week later.  Of course it was different, we hadn't really seen and spent time together fore more than a decade, but I was surprised at how much we got along and had plenty of things to talk about.  It was an added bonus that our spouses didn't seem to mind much and even seemed to enjoy themselves as well.

I guess what I'm saying is that I'm aware of the good friends I've had.  I chose good friends that were good influences on me early on.  They might not all still live and think the same way we all did a few years back, but I'm glad that I'm the type of person (and they are) that looks for they blessings of diversity and the importance of maintaining those friendships. Forgive the cheesy thought/poem, but it's been in my mind a lot lately.

Some people come into our lives and quickly go.  Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never the same.


PS It took me a bit longer than it should have, but I (obviously) uploaded some old photo's.  There's probably only one person (maybe) who reads this blog, that is in these pics.  Don't worry, Andrea, I won't be posting any of these anywhere else any time soon!  (Even though that close up of us before Junior Prom is pretty hot!)