The nicest mean things people can say

We finally pulled the trigger.  We've been talking about moving for a couple of years.  Figured it would be another year until the rest of the new units in our development were finished and sold, but then decided we didn't want/need to wait that long.  So, an email was sent about 5 weeks ago to our realtor, followed by a month of feverishly deep-cleaning, de-junking, and simplifying our living space, and now... it's on the market.  And, I have to tell you, our house has NEVER looked this good, especially all at one time.

We've been looking online, been out to see about 7 or 8 homes, driven by another couple dozen (at least).  We've seen about 3 that we could live in, but we're not convinced that we've found the one worth putting an offer on yet.  It's exhausting.  Mentally and physically, and as I finally realized today, emotionally.

I've never considered myself an overly sentimental person.  In fact, if you ask my husband or a few close friends, they might even say "I'm dead inside".  I think pictures and journals are incredibly valuable and worth saving.  I save practical things (children's clothing and baby gear) until I can safely say that we aren't going to use it anymore, but other than that... I think if any one decade of your life can't fit in a plastic tote... you need to throw some stuff away.  I didn't think, and still don't think, that I'll get too sentimental or sad when we leave this house.

Yes, this is our first home.  My father-in-law was the builder.  I brought my babies home here.  It's new... so there hasn't been too much blood, sweat, and tears of our own that have gone into it.  We've had baby blessings, family parties, and a lot of friend get togethers here.  We finished part of the basement, and put up a small fence in our small yard.  For the most part, we've managed to not completely wreck the place.  Something that has become even more apparent as we've spruced it up to move and have had the 'opportunity' to walk through a few 'well lived in' homes.  Justin spends most work days here in his office.  Hyrum hit his forehead on almost every square inch at least twice.  Milo had a seizure in the living room.  Kate became an artist on quite a few of the walls.  It's been a great home.  It's kind of been a great transition to home ownership (half of any issues we've had Dave fixed as the builder, and the other half have been extremely mild and inexpensive).  We haven't had to mow the lawn or shovel the driveway.  We planted flowers in the the flower bed, once.  But, it's a house.  We have our memories, our pictures, and that's probably all we'll need from here.

To move on to the reason I wanted to write tonight.  I'll miss the people.  Hyrum's best friend, Max lives next door.  Do you know how awesome it is when your kids best friend lives next door?  A few afternoons a week they play 20 minutes at our house, run over to Max's for a half hour, back to our place, back to Max's, etc.  It's great.  Hyrum is really going to miss having Max so close.  And me?  I've gotten to know a lot of the neighbors, and they're great.  And I LOVE our ward.  It's small, but not as small as it was when we first moved in.  The people are friendly, and welcoming, and willing to go out of their way to help each other out.  I think it's great for kids and the youth to be a part of a big ward, but as far as adults go, it's nice to be needed and noticed and feel apart of something.

I sat up at the organ today and nearly started crying more than once thinking about saying goodbye to so many people in the ward.  The secret started getting out last week that we were trying to move and most people that hadn't already heard, found out about it today.  The (new) bishop called me a traitor when I walked into the chapel.  When I mentioned to a couple of ladies that I nearly started crying today when I thought about moving one of them said, "Good, I'm glad you're crying, I don't think you should leave."  When Justin told Brenda (the kids church-grandma) a couple of weeks ago, I thought she was going to get emotional.  She told me that she'd be praying that we stayed, and couldn't sell our house.  I've had quite a few people mention that I'd still have to come back and provide cakes for the annual cake auction even after I left.

So... it's nice to know that we've become so much a part of the ward the we'll be missed.  It's nice to know that I might mean as much to some of the ward members as they have meant to me over the years.  I will never be able to pay back the kindness and service that I received when Justin was deployed.  I just hope that we will allow ourselves and do our part to be as accepted and 'well used' in our next ward that we have been in this one.  I hope that my kids will be loved.  I hope that as they get older they will be lucky enough to have good friends in the ward and connect and bond with their leaders and other ward members.  Those relationships meant so much to be when I was growing up in my home ward, that I just pray that my kids will be that blessed as well.  I hope that if/when we move from our next home, we get dirty looks and disapproving comments when we decide to leave.

Or... I hope we just never leave, because this whole process is NOT one I'm going to sign up for anytime in the near future!