This one is probably just for me. I don't think they'll be pictures (since I can't get the CD thing to open on Justin's computer to upload all of our AWESOME family pictures -that post will come soon, I hope). I've just had some ramblings going on in my head this weekend, and for some reason, want to write about it.
Two things sort of happened in the last few days that were related.
The first was visiting my esthetican. This is a regular occurrence. I've been having my eyebrows done by Jan since I lived with Yvette, going on 6 years or so now. Every 3 weeks. She takes care of my eyebrows, any other stray hairs that may crop up, and occasionally does facials or other nice pampering type things. I really like Jan, she's older and wiser, has a different view on life and spiritual matters than I do, but I love talking to her and sharing things with one another. It's also the only chance that Yvette and I usually have to catch up to, it's a great half hour every month.
The short story about Jan, is that she has experienced two near-death experiences very close together, and very recently. Even before these two experiences (both of them had her in the ICU for a short period of time) she felt like she had some psychic abilities. Not really the 'fortune teller' type of abilities, more like she was just very in-tune with others needs, emotions, and even their physical bodies. Meaning, over the years she has helped me with some physical ailments when western medicine and doctors couldn't do much for me.
We got to talking (while waiting for Yvette to get there) about the movie "Hereafter" (which is actually the 2nd thing that sort of happened this weekend) and she just broke down and told me that since her two near death experiences she has had her psychic ability completely overtake every area of her life and it's become unbearable. It's not always a horrible thing, she'll start thinking about someone, or feel like she hears a person's name over and over again until she calls or sees them, and it turns out they needed something or someone at that moment - most of us from the LDS faith would count that as a blessing and a prompting from the Holy Ghost that we should act on.
Other times, it's much more intrusive and destructive almost. She will start feeling angry or physically sick, or start crying right before a client comes in -only to find out that that client was feeling one of those particular feelings. She says that she can't even go to the grocery store any more without taking an anti-anxiety pill because she starts feeling all of the emotions or feelings of complete strangers she comes in contact with.
Turns out this might not be the short version of the story.
I re-watched Hearafter last night because there are two characters that had so many similarities to Jan. One who had a near death experience, and essentially had to change her life and her values or priorities because of it, and another who has psychic abilities that have made any personal relationships nearly impossible because he knows so much about a person upon first meeting them that a natural relationship can't develop.
I guess what these ramblings boil down to, is part of my testimony, or what I'm grateful to have a knowledge about. (I suppose I could add one more event this weekend which has had me thinking in this direction, which was a funeral for one of Justin's great aunts, or second cousin -I'm not quite sure how that all works out).
It is such a blessing to know that there is a plan for us. That our Heavenly Father knows what is going on in our lives and has given us answers if we know where to look for them. We don't need to visit a psychic to find out if there is life after death. We don't need to actually die and come back to this earth to know that our family is 'on the other side' waiting for us. Still there, but just separated from our view for a little while.
I started bawling (which I don't often do anymore) at the same part in the movie that I did the first time I watched it. Matt Damon's character (the psychic) is talking to a young boy who lost his twin brother and he says, so powerfully, "If you're worried about being alone, don't be, you're not!" I guess that's really what everyone wants to hear, that we're not alone. Whatever that might mean to you, individually, it's just important to hear that we're not alone.
It's nice to be surrounded by friends and loved ones, but those connections (at least during this life) can't last forever. Relatives die. Friends move away and we lose contact with them. When my grandpa passed away, the thing I remember most vividly is when my grandma said to the doctor, "We were together 55 years. That's a long time... but not long enough". I'm beginning to think that one of the most important things we need to learn how to do during this life is to be able to love with all of our heart... and then be able to let go. It's not an easy thing to do, and I'm not sure anyone gets good at it.
I don't know if I'd really want to get good at it either.
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