Come and Gone

So... time on the computer has been seriously hampered by child number two. Either I'm too tired at night after the kids have gone to bed, or if I do have spare minute during the day I usually am trying to do something productive (and I guess blogging hasn't made to the 'being productive' list).

We celebrated our 4 year anniversary this week. I use the term 'celebrated' lightly. Tuesday night (our actual anniversary) I had Young Womens and Justin went and played basketball

afterwards. Romantic.

We decided to try and go out this weekend. But... I'm too cheap and I'm still not totally comfortable with leaving Kate for more than a couple of hours. Both emotionally and physically. So, we went to a matinée movie and brought home something to eat for us and Erin (our baby-sitter). Even more romantic.

I'm not complaining, I'm not really the type that craves romance. Just ask Justin.

At any rate... we've been married for 4 years.

We've had one apartment and one house.

I've quit my job.

Justin's... started more than a few new jobs. Including becoming a Supply Corps Officer in the Navy Reserves.

We've bought 4 businesses and closed 2 of them.

We've had 2 kids.

No new cars.

No major accidents.

No major health problems.

We've been to Paris, London, Zijuatanejo, Hawaii, San Fransisco, LA, Washington DC, Las Vegas and Jackson Hole and Idaho.

Trips to the Zoo, Wheeler Farm, and the Emergency Room (here and away).

We've attended funerals and weddings, baby blessings and family dinners.

Served in the church, the community, and almost on a jury.

Watched a lot of movies, rented a lot more, and read a few of the same books -or at least started them.

Here's too (at least) another 4 years.

Pretty toes... but no place to go

Our house is pretty much on lock down. Not officially, of course, but unless you have a strong desire to catch something... I'm not opening my door for anyone.

Monday morning Hyrum looked a little 'off', and seemed more tired than usual. We had plans to go to the Discovery Museum with my mom, so we pushed through. (Sorry to any other kids that might have followed my kid on any of the toys, I promise I didn't think he was really sick). By the time we got home after a condensed version of the museum he was officially sick. He took a REALLY long nap and woke up with a fever.

Oh, and did I mention Little Miss had a little cough?

Tuesday was no better, he perked up for about an hour after the Tylenol or Ibuprofen kicked in, but it was short lived. My mom and dad stopped by on their way out of town. The grandma/nurse kicked in, and my mom convinced me to call the doctor. He would make a few gestures at his ears, so we wondered if he had an infection.

I had a massage and pedicure scheduled for 4 (which lasted for 2 1/2 hours). The massage was WONDERFUL, but the pedicure, although it felt great and my feet and toes look pretty, made me feel a little guilty, because I knew Justin was home with sick kids. And yes, the fact that I have spent days on end with sick kids by myself did not escape me, but I had 'mom guilt' nonetheless.

When I got home from the spa, Justin informed me that Kate screamed almost non-stop for 2 hours. Something that she just doesn't do. She also has had a runny nose for a day and a half to go with her cough. Hyrum still looked miserable, and we had an appointment at 8, so we decided to take the whole family in to see our doctor. In a blizzard.

Lucky for us, Kate's ears were clear. And since she doesn't have a fever, we're hoping it just stays a cold. She's pretty gunky, has a lot of extra fluid that she's coughing up, but hopefully with some BabyVics, sleeping in her swing, and a humidifier she'll get over it soon.

Hyrum, on the other hand, has pneumonia. As of right now, it's not too serious. He's still eating (a bit) and drinking and all of that fun stuff. We started a couple of different antibiotics and are keeping a steady stream of fever reducers going to keep him comfortable. So... hopefully by the weekend he'll be his usual self.

Maybe by then I'll be feeling better too.

Valentines

Here's what I got for Valentines Day...

A sick kid. Poor little guy.

Actually, I got 2 hours away from children and in a spa on Wednesday afternoon. And... when you get around to reading this Justin, that's the BEST way to do it -schedule it for me. Thanks, hon!

A good old fashioned rant

I should preface this post with saying, it will probably be long and without pictures.

I should also say that I am pro-breastfeeding. I think it's the best thing a baby can eat, and if and when it's possible, babies benefit from it's nutritional value.

Also, it's about breastfeeding, so I'll be saying the word 'breast', just in case that makes any of you uneasy.

And... who am I kidding, I'll try and put a couple of pictures on. But it'll be at the end, so you'll have to, at the very least, scroll through my soapbox.

One more quick thought... this isn't really meant to single out anyone in particular. Even if you think I'm talking about you, I'm not. So, please don't take offense. Just take it with a grain of salt -just like with everything else you read.

My plan before baby number one was to breast feed. I probably wasn't planning on being someone who breastfed past the kids first birthday, but I also knew that I would get as much help as I might need to make it work. I knew my mom had had a difficult time nursing me and my sister and didn't even try with the boys. But, that was all I had heard, I never concerned myself with the details.

So... Hyrum came, I got help with latching in the hospital, but he was a little jaundice and his blood sugar dropped in the first 24 hours, so the nurses encouraged me to try a bottle. I was pretty nervous, I had heard about 'nipple confusion' and was so certain I would breastfeed 100%, that I didn't want to give him the bottle. Nurses and doctors (as well as a baby on the verge of being sick) can be persuasive, so I think Hyrum had one or two bottles in the hospital.

Then we were home, left to our own devices. I had a very unhappy baby for those first couple of weeks. He hardly slept, never seemed content after a feeding... which seemed to go on non-stop. It would take me almost 2 hours to feed him and then he'd be hungry again. So... we'd start again. That's what the books said... feed every two hours from the the beginning. It was miserable. Not to mention some serious pain that I was having.

So, we went back to the lactation specialist at the hospital right before Hyrum's one week appointment. She helped a TON. She helped with the latch, and let me know that it was okay to give my screaming child a bottle every now and then. I wouldn't 'ruin' him. Laugh if you like, but you have NO idea what that permission did to me. It was such a release. I felt great when we left her office.

Until we got to the doctors office. Hyrum wasn't gaining weight and after explaining our feeding woes my doctor was worried he wasn't getting enough food. I still was hopeful, explaining I had just come from the lactation specialist, armed with a new latch and we went and bought a breast pump. I was sure that the next week would go better. Our doctor said if he was able to gain

weight before our next visit, we should be fine.

The physical pain (blisters and cracking) started to go away with a better latch, but Hyrum was still taking forever to eat, and he wasn't sleeping any better. He never seemed happy or content, even though I would give him a bottle once or twice a day. At our 2 week check-up he hadn't gained hardly any weight, so we scheduled another appointment with the specialist. She weighed Hyrum before a feed, I fed him for at least 20 minutes, and we weighed him right after. She said he had taken 10 mL -if even that. I didn't seem to be producing enough milk. I wasn't surprised, when I pumped I would have to get the milk out with an medicine dropper and let it fall into his mouth -there was so little of it.

At any rate, I started a prescription to help me produce milk (one that wasn't covered by insurance) and started about 3 different herbal supplements as well. I continued to pump and breastfeed and supplement. Hyrum finally started gaining weight after 3 weeks, and I was able to nurse him for about 4 and a half months. One day there was just nothing there. It wasn't painful or difficult on my part to wean him... one day there was milk (even if it was a little bit) and one day there wasn't.

So... this time, I didn't have any preconceived notions that nursing would be easy for me. I still wanted to nurse my baby, so I had the prescription waiting for me after I delivered Kate, planned on pumping and taking the supplements, but also knew I'd probably have to supplement. After talking to my mom, her mom, and my dad's mom, I found out that none of them were able to breast feed completely, they all had to supplement, or had to use formula completely.

I was hopeful that I'd have a better time, which I have. First of all, emotionally, it has been a TON easier. There was very little guilt about not nursing, or giving Kate a bottle. I didn't have to in the hospital, despite being VERY jaundice -she latched on like a champ and had plenty of dirty diapers. I did start supplementing a week or so afterwards -about the time that I started becoming cracked and started bleeding. (Nothing is worse than painfully pumping, only to look down and seeing pink milk).

Thanks to cutbacks I suppose, I couldn't get in to see any lactation specialists from the hospitals (which didn't make any sense to me, because even before, we had to pay $35 just to see one after I was discharged), so I went to the Lactation Station and paid that lady to watch me nurse. I seemed to have the latch down... it just took a while and few home remedies to help get over the horrific pain that IS breastfeeding for me.

I pushed through, and that part is much better. I still get nauseous when I nurse (even my doctor can't explain that one to me -it doesn't matter if I'm hungry, just eaten, thirsty, or drinking water during the feeding, I still feel sick), but I nurse her almost every feeding. I have a lot more milk this time then I ever had with Hyrum, and I've managed to nearly fill my freezer with small 2 oz bottles of frozen milk. (It takes me a couple of pumping sessions to get a full 2 oz usually). I'm hoping to nurse Kate for at least 3 or 4 months, and then let her have at least one small bottle of breastmilk a day for another month or so.

Hyrum, about the same age as Kate. 2 months.

Kate. It's kind of a weird angle... but she's started smiling all the time now.

If you're still reading this, I'm a little surprised, I didn't mean to go through my whole history to make this next point -which was the purpose of the post.

If you're one of those lucky people that breastfeeding comes easily or naturally, that is wonderful -I'm happy for you and all of your babies. If you have a hard time, push through the frustrations and pain, and STILL nurse your children, then even more kudos to you.

But, please be aware of those of us that can't or try everything within our power to solely breastfeed, and still have to give our kids bottles. I love that you LOVE nursing, and think we should accept nursing mothers in every area of public places (I'm not going to get into that issue here). I appreciate every point and opinion you make about the wonders of breastfeeding and how it should be encouraged, supported, and recommended to every new mother. In fact, I agree with you.

Most days I feel completely satisfied with my efforts and the choices that I've made for my children. I don't think you mean offense when you say certain things to mothers -either in person or otherwise, that currently aren't nursing. When you see mothers feeding their babies a bottle, take a moment before you cast judgement and imagine all of the millions of reasons why. You're right, maybe that mother just didn't want to breastfeed. Maybe she was uncomfortable at the thought of it, and never gave it a shot. (Which should ALSO be accepted in our society).

But, it's more likely that that mother has tried or is currently trying to nurse. I can't even list all of the possible reasons why that mother is using a bottle, she could have had a 'NICU baby' and wasn't able to nurse for weeks or even months and didn't get the chance to built up a milk supply. Maybe she adopted that child, or tried for weeks, and for whatever reason, couldn't continue. She could have a baby that can't physically latch on, severed milk ducts from surgeries, a need for medication that shouldn't be passed on through breastmilk.

On behalf of all women who choose or feel like the choice was made for them, to use formula and bottles, please be aware that some of the things that you can say might be hurtful. New mom's have a delicate enough emotional state, and we honestly don't need anything else to make us feel guilty about. Everyone makes parenting choices that work for THEM, and maybe not for everyone else. Maybe you think I'm a bad mom for not breastfeeding, but maybe I think you yell at your kids too much. Or, maybe I let my son watch too much TV, but I don't agree with how you ignore your kids when they're wreaking havoc. (Again, I promise, I'm not talking about you, it's just general thoughts)

At any rate, my kids are healthy, I'm emotionally stable, and my house is still never clean enough. That one you can judge me on!

Babysitting and a Bonk on the head

The other night I was cleaning up (my first mistake), putting toys away near our mantle. I stood up hard and fast, and hit my head on the corner. It about knocked me out, but instead, knocked me backwards and left me spinning for a few moments. Man, it hurt! I had a goose egg on the top of my head and took some Tylenol for my headache. I even had a hard time sleeping that night (and since) because it seems any way I lay on my pillow I can feel the bruise. Hyrum spent a good 6-9 months of his life with a goose egg and/or bruise on his head, I feel like a bad parent now. I should have given him a LOT more Tylenol, because I'm sure he had headaches for most of that time.

In a totally unrelated story (I promise) I've had a full house these last two mornings. A friend of mine with two little boys (one a year older, and one about 6 months younger than Hyrum) flew out to see her husband graduate from boot camp this week. Her in-laws have the boys, but her mother-in-law works in the mornings. So, from 8:30 - 12:30 I have four kids here. Under the age of 4. It would ALMOST be physically possible for one women to have all of these kids too. Maybe having several small children close together works for some people... but not for me! Even if I was getting a full nights sleep, I think I'd still be exhausted by noon.
This lasted for about 90 seconds.

A little late

This won't be news to any family that also reads my sister's, sister-in-law's, or my mom's blog... but it's been a rough week, and this is the first time I've been on my computer in 7 days. So, here's my version of the story.

We went on our annual (we went last year, and another year about a decade ago, that makes it annual, right?) snowmobiling trip with the Hardcastles. My parents rent a super nice cabin, and snowmobiles for a day of riding. There is always too much food, a few games (at my mom's request or demand, whatever way you look at it) and some fun in the snow. This year my mom's sister and husband as well as brother, Paul, came with us too. We had a full house!

The evening before the snowmobiles we all arrived and had dinner. Trevor showed off his pj's... and we all went to bed.



The next morning was a quick breakfast, and getting dressed up warm. Everyone was going out in the morning expect for me and my kids. Hyrum got dressed up and played out in the snow for almost an hour. Kate and I went out for the first few minutes, but came back in pretty quick. I guess Hyrum just loved it and played with his aunts while everyone learned how to use the machines. He was pretty bummed to be stuck inside with his boring mom and sister once everyone else left for the morning.




Sitting by the fire, which is what we did all day.
Then the fun started! Here's my version of the story (for the record, everyone told slightly different stories, so this is what I got from it).

I was trying (in vain) to get Hyrum down for a nap and was downstairs when my aunt Karen came in to tell me there had been an accident. My mom crashed her sled into Justin's. She flew over her machine, into and past Justin, and landed on the ground. Somehow Justin's ankle was hit by something (couldn't have been the snowmobile, so I don't know how it got hurt) but he was fine.

My mom, on the other hand, broke her arm. Gordon was sent back to get help, even before he knew what was going on and who was even hurt. The lodge sent people (I think some were employee's and some were volunteers that work or live in the area, I'm not sure) to the accident site on snowmobiles. My mom's glasses cut into her face, so there was a lot of blood, but those were pretty superficial wounds. Once the paramedics got there they were certain that she had broken her wrist (using words like 'deformed' and 'shattered'). She had to ride in a sled being towed by a machine to meet the ambulance, who took her to the hospital about 25 miles away.

Once she got to the hospital (but not after a paramedic accidentally dropped a stool on her arm in the bus), they took close to a million x-rays and c-scans. We got information via email's from my dad, and they couldn't seem to decide what to do. Once they did, my dad realized that he needed to 'settle up' with the lodge -for the rentals and the damages. And the gas. And the employees who came to help. And the gas for THEIR machines. And the time down for the all-but-totaled snowmobiles. You get the idea.

To get my mom to Ogden and surgery faster, Kate and I packed up and headed to the hospital in Evanston. I passed my dad on the way, but got to my mom quicker than he would have been able to. We drove down to the hospital and got her into surgery pretty quickly. My dad showed up about 15 minutes after she went to surgery.

The surgeon put a plate in her arm with some bone graft (cadaver bone). It was a pretty messy break and besides being bruised from head to foot, she also broke a couple of ribs. She can't drive for at least another few weeks, and is only free of pain when she's asleep. It's pretty impressive how quick things moved and hopefully how quick my mom will be on the mend. But for now... I think she's wishing she took us to Disneyland!