It's the end of an era

First of all... today was the quickest 2 weeks I've ever had.


I went into work today fully expecting to work for the next 2 weeks. After spending most of the morning with my supervisor and my coworkers that were taking my cases, I was worried I wouldn't get everything I needed done in just 2 weeks. Then I went in to speak with my supervisor's boss.


Turns out anything I was going to get done or help out with, would be limited to my 10 hours today. Budget cuts... blah blah blah, he'll accept my resignation effective today. As in, today when you walk out of here, you'll no longer be employed here. You'll no longer have a job with the state. No longer a social worker. All of the relationships you've created during the last four years will no longer be necessary. Done. Finished. Goodbye.


Okay... so the conversation didn't quite take that turn, but it felt like that when I finally walked out that door. (I sort of forgot a few things in my office, so I'll actually go back there soon -but it'll be different then).


I spent the first half of my morning commute holding back a few tears, having just left my sleeping baby for the day. I spent the last half of my commute home holding back tears for having just left my job. A job that had become a large part of who I was over the last 4 and a half years. A job where I found some very dear friends. A job that provided me with a lot of satisfaction and validation. A job where I felt like I made a difference in people's lives.


And for what?

I guess that's a good trade.

The 'calm' before the storm

Okay... I'm not sure if I'd refer to the last 9 weeks as calm... but that's what today has felt like.

I am very lucky to not have to return to work full time (thanks, Justin). However, in order to use my 9 weeks of sick I had, I needed to stay an employee, go back, and give my two weeks.

That's happening tomorrow.

I'm also very lucky that my sister in law will watch the Little Man for most of the days, and he'll spend a day with my mom too. Plus, some days Justin will be able to handle the morning. But, it's still a little weird getting him (and me) ready for tomorrow. A lot of diapers, wipes, extra clothes, bottles, formula and breast milk, not to mention trying to find my work phone and everything that used to be in my purse, that is now in one of the many hidden pockets in the diaper bag.

To make matters worse, the next 2 weeks are really busy. Working until Thursday, doctor appointments on Friday and Monday, the Little Man's blessing is on Sunday, so trying to get enough food (and square footage) to accommodate a LARGE family we expect... then another week of work.

So... I guess compared to the last month or so, this IS the calm before the storm.

I'm also trying to totally ignore the emotional/hormonal side of this. We'll see how successful I am tomorrow morning.

PS -This is the blogs 300th post. 300 the movie... 300th post... it works!

Hope

I stole this quote from another blog. With all the dissent that occurs living in a Republican state and having a Democratic President, I wonder why people have to be so depressing and negative when they disagree. After all, we're never going to agree 100% with anyone who is elected, so why not find the best in the situation?


PS - The one I voted for finally won (first time).

It's a beautiful day

(Despite the smog/inversion in the valley.)

Teepees to the rescue

That's right. Pee-Pee Teepees to the rescue.

My friend Bryon gave us these for Christmas. They're mostly just a gag gift to be honest, most of you are aware, or could at least imagine that babies do a little too much squirming to make them extremely useful on a regular basis.

However, this morning when I was changing the Little Man I didn't have a new g diaper ready. While I was doing that, I grabbed the teepee -I just had a feeling. Sure enough, I heard that all too familiar sound, but didn't see anything.

It soaked through the changing pad cover, but at least I didn't have to do a wardrobe change -or worse!

Thanks Bryon!

Happy Birthday Mom!

Today was my mom's birthday, and what a mom I have...

I've come to realize even more over the past few months just what an impact a mother has on her children and their children and so on. Not only have Melanie and I seen two great mothers leave this world in the past three months, but I've had the opportunity to be on the front row to what a new one goes through!

Needless to say my mother and I are two of a kind. We've been through a lot of different experiences together and there are many that come to my mind as I write this...including a trip or two and the time Dave came over to pick her up for a date ("Are you gonna kiss my mom?"). But there's one thing I can say and that is she has always been there for me and never gives up. She'll always love me and usually understands me, and from her I've gained the majority of my most valuable traits - leadership, thoughtfulness, passion for learning new things, and to be loving.

She is a smart and caring example for me. I love you mom. Happy Birthday!

Just because

Just because this is such a funny picture

My mom was holding him and my dad was taking pictures. My mom sneezed, and the Little Man didn't like that very much.

How much is too much?

I watch a lot of tv during the day now. A lot.

Luckily we have cable so it's not 'daytime tv' -soap operas and talk shows. It's all prime time in the daytime to steal one of the networks taglines.

I layed down for a minute during the Little Mans nap this afternoon and, I kid you not, dreamed an episode of Law and Order: SVU.

Complete with the 'cha chung' sound effect.

That's what your kitchen is for

How about a light-hearted post that's NOT about a baby?

I went to Costco on Monday. I'm going to try and start using coupons (kind of a new years resolution, if and when I ever get to thinking about resolutions, I'm kind of just keeping my head above water at the moment). I'd like to start planning meals and menu's and doing my shopping with that, so coupons should be more effective that way.

That's actually not what I was going to post about.

I got Costco's coupon mailer last week and noticed a bunch of things that 1- we use regularly and 2-we needed to restock on. Two good things in a coupon. So... I waited a few days to go to the store until the coupons took effect.

Which, is apparently, what everyone in the valley does as well. The place looked like a Saturday (I refuse to go to Costco on a Saturday, I did it once, and never again). There were crowds of people near the items that had come out in the mailer, which was fine, I can handle that part. In fact, it kind of made it easy to find what I was looking for.

What I can't handle? The people hovering and circling the 'sample' tables like some kind of starved vultures. I'm not kidding. If you're a sampler, then, more power to you I guess. But seriously? Waiting in line with 10 or more carts to get a tiny little cup of soup? If you're walking by and there is something to grab from the table, go for it. But I PROMISE you, nothing is worth waiting in a line for the little old lady to take out of the microwave for you to eat.

I don't even make eye contact with the cute little old ladies just on principle. No thank you, I don't need your cheese spread and cracker. I'll just BUY some crackers and cheese spread if I get the craving.

*Disclaimer*
Maybe I should have mentioned this at the beginning, but I've had 2 nights in a row with 3 hours of sleep or less... I might be a little ornery and overreacting a bit, but it IS a little annoying.

Eternal Rewards

Mortality has its share of guessing games, but death is something I suppose we can all count on. Melanie and I have really been hit hard the past few months in that department. The latest was the passing of my great-grandma this week. She was 89 years old. I continue to love her so much. One of the last times I recall seeing her - that she remembered who I was - she told me I was "so special". The truth is it takes a very - very - special person to make anyone feel the way she made me feel. I always knew she loved me.


I continued to remind her the last few times we were together that, "I am your grandson and you are my grandma and I love you." She often cried and sometimes I think she felt sad that she could feel a remembrance but the pieces were not coming together in her head. I was told a story about her getting her hair done the other day and she said, "I'm not who I used to be."


Now she is herself again, and very happy.



I looked over her obituary and she had 5 children, 22 grandchildren, 73 great-grandchildren (surely, all special), and 17 great-great grandchildren!

The funeral is Friday and I hope to honor her by speaking as she requested.

b.c.

I really like blogs. I like reading others, keeping up to date with friends and family -as well as complete strangers. I like making my own record of most of our comings and goings and being able to go back and read it.


I'm not the only one who has had a life altering experience or milestone while keeping a blog. And, I also know that we're still in that first phase of parenthood (or at least I am) where it's pretty all-encompassing and I do little else but feed and change the little man, try to keep my house in some resemblance of order and catch up on countless hours of missed sleep.


I've just been wondering when I'll have something to say on here that doesn't involve the little man.


I think its safe to say that I USED to have more in my life before having a child (b.c. - before child). That's actually one of the reasons I started the baby blog, so I'd have an outlet for all the kid stuff -but there's little else to talk about.


I used to talk about work. When it was too hot in our offices, road trips to see kids, moving to a new building, our new 10 hour work day, and how I really feel about my job.


I used to talk about baseball. I'm not going to add links, just assume that most posts authored by me in September and October every year reference my obsession with the red sox.

I've spent a lot of posts about trips... books I've read... concerts we've attended.

But now... it's all kid all the time.

The good thing is we've already been out (Justin and I) twice, so I may actually feel like I have a small life away from the little man soon. Don't get me wrong, I'm actually enjoying myself. I am WELL aware that he's a 'good baby'. Once he actually started eating ,he's rarely cries for more than an hour where he can't be consoled. He doesn't spit up much, he loves his baths, and as Justin always says, he's pretty dang cute! Our biggest thing now is getting him to sleep and in the bassinet right after a feeding -and the frustration of having to supplement with formula.

I wouldn't trade this time for anything and feel very blessed to have this baby in our lives. It's just weird to barely remember what my life was like... ya know, b.c.