Single Mom

I've been a single mom for a few days here and there, I think for a full week once or twice. This time Justin is gone for 8 days, come's home for about 36 hours and then leaves for another 5 days. I suppose it's just practice. There will be a few more week long absences (probably more than we were originally planning on) this year, and a full two weeks in August.

Between his actual job (the one that pays the mortgage and provides insurance -that's how I distinguish between the jobs) and the Navy, he's gone a lot this summer.

I've made a few observations.

It is not natural to be a single parent. I guess somebody knew what they were talking about when it was designed for us to come down here to two parents and live in a family.

I HATE going to the grocery store with two kids.

It's important to get out of the house every day. Sometimes twice. Sometimes more than that.

It's a pain leaving the house with two kids.

Those women and families that have career military husbands have my admiration, sympathy, and condolences. (I just finished a great book called "You know when the men are gone" by Siobhan Fallon which was an amazing look into their lives, if any of you are interested).

I may have picked a bad time to let Kate 'cry it out'. She learned how to roll over, so I don't think I should swaddle her anymore when she goes down. She's struggling.

I'm amazed at how easy this week as been in many aspects.

I fell off the wagon with my diet. Pretty hard. Even harder because there's no one else at home who notices. Hyrum really hasn't complained about the cookies.

I'd like to go on vacation. Where's my HR/transportation department where I put in MY travel arrangements? One day at girls camp isn't going to cut it.

Family photo's (finally)

You'd never know if from the final results, but my kids were so ornery, I couldn't believe she got a few shots with all the toddlers looking in the same direction, and Hyrum spent most of the evening crying.

Just another reason why Terra from Magnifique Photography is amazing -and worth every penny!

Lack of posts

No laptop=No blogging.

My laptop crapped out on us a few weeks ago. We're lucky that we have another (several) computers in Justin's office. The only thing is, I don't really like coming down to Justin's office. I can't come down here during the day (he's working) and by the time the kids are asleep and I've picked up 60% of the messes we've made throughout the day, the last think I want to do is come down here.

And when I do, it's because I have a bit of work to do. By the time that is done, I just want to go to bed. So, pictures are not being uploaded (including our AWESOME family ones we just did -look for those this weekend), blog updates are not getting done, and emails are only being answered by my iPhone (thank goodness for that!).

I should be up and running sometime next week, so hopefully I'll be back to posting and checking private blogs that don't come up in Google Reader (another thing I'm grateful for the iPhone for).

Isn't technology great?

Not my typical post

This one is probably just for me. I don't think they'll be pictures (since I can't get the CD thing to open on Justin's computer to upload all of our AWESOME family pictures -that post will come soon, I hope). I've just had some ramblings going on in my head this weekend, and for some reason, want to write about it.

Two things sort of happened in the last few days that were related.

The first was visiting my esthetican. This is a regular occurrence. I've been having my eyebrows done by Jan since I lived with Yvette, going on 6 years or so now. Every 3 weeks. She takes care of my eyebrows, any other stray hairs that may crop up, and occasionally does facials or other nice pampering type things. I really like Jan, she's older and wiser, has a different view on life and spiritual matters than I do, but I love talking to her and sharing things with one another. It's also the only chance that Yvette and I usually have to catch up to, it's a great half hour every month.

The short story about Jan, is that she has experienced two near-death experiences very close together, and very recently. Even before these two experiences (both of them had her in the ICU for a short period of time) she felt like she had some psychic abilities. Not really the 'fortune teller' type of abilities, more like she was just very in-tune with others needs, emotions, and even their physical bodies. Meaning, over the years she has helped me with some physical ailments when western medicine and doctors couldn't do much for me.

We got to talking (while waiting for Yvette to get there) about the movie "Hereafter" (which is actually the 2nd thing that sort of happened this weekend) and she just broke down and told me that since her two near death experiences she has had her psychic ability completely overtake every area of her life and it's become unbearable. It's not always a horrible thing, she'll start thinking about someone, or feel like she hears a person's name over and over again until she calls or sees them, and it turns out they needed something or someone at that moment - most of us from the LDS faith would count that as a blessing and a prompting from the Holy Ghost that we should act on.

Other times, it's much more intrusive and destructive almost. She will start feeling angry or physically sick, or start crying right before a client comes in -only to find out that that client was feeling one of those particular feelings. She says that she can't even go to the grocery store any more without taking an anti-anxiety pill because she starts feeling all of the emotions or feelings of complete strangers she comes in contact with.

Turns out this might not be the short version of the story.

I re-watched Hearafter last night because there are two characters that had so many similarities to Jan. One who had a near death experience, and essentially had to change her life and her values or priorities because of it, and another who has psychic abilities that have made any personal relationships nearly impossible because he knows so much about a person upon first meeting them that a natural relationship can't develop.

I guess what these ramblings boil down to, is part of my testimony, or what I'm grateful to have a knowledge about. (I suppose I could add one more event this weekend which has had me thinking in this direction, which was a funeral for one of Justin's great aunts, or second cousin -I'm not quite sure how that all works out).

It is such a blessing to know that there is a plan for us. That our Heavenly Father knows what is going on in our lives and has given us answers if we know where to look for them. We don't need to visit a psychic to find out if there is life after death. We don't need to actually die and come back to this earth to know that our family is 'on the other side' waiting for us. Still there, but just separated from our view for a little while.

I started bawling (which I don't often do anymore) at the same part in the movie that I did the first time I watched it. Matt Damon's character (the psychic) is talking to a young boy who lost his twin brother and he says, so powerfully, "If you're worried about being alone, don't be, you're not!" I guess that's really what everyone wants to hear, that we're not alone. Whatever that might mean to you, individually, it's just important to hear that we're not alone.

It's nice to be surrounded by friends and loved ones, but those connections (at least during this life) can't last forever. Relatives die. Friends move away and we lose contact with them. When my grandpa passed away, the thing I remember most vividly is when my grandma said to the doctor, "We were together 55 years. That's a long time... but not long enough". I'm beginning to think that one of the most important things we need to learn how to do during this life is to be able to love with all of our heart... and then be able to let go. It's not an easy thing to do, and I'm not sure anyone gets good at it.

I don't know if I'd really want to get good at it either.

The one about the wedding

My sister, Jodi, got married this weekend. (May 20th, to be precise). I figured my parents had 4 kids in 8 years... and married them all off in a little over 4 years. I'm not sure why I was figuring that.

The day threatened to be rainy and windy, and although it did both, it wasn't too bad. I thought it was a fairly low-key event, no big reception, just the ceremony at 3 pm (more to come on that

later) and a dinner at 7 pm. My sister and mom were told by her photographer and the event planner at the Joseph Smith Memorial Building that there was no way they would be ready to eat

at 6. There was, so we had extra time to entertain small children, but everything ended up

working out.

I barely managed to get a shot of the couple as they left the temple, and a few shots of my kids. I should have handed my camera over to someone who wasn't trying to entertain two kids, but hopefully I can steal a few shots from the professional. My cousin, Annie, who is pretty dang close to a professional, did get some good shots as well.

Because this is MY blog, and not my sisters, I'll add our little drama before the sealing.

Big Matt (my brother) and Jenny (his wife) came to our house to watch the kids. We figured a few extra minutes of Hyrum's nap could only be useful later in the evening. I had it in my head all week that we needed to be at the temple at 3:00 and the ceremony started at 3:30. So we took our time leaving the house. and, when Justin got a phone call from work as we were walking in, I thought we had PLENTY of time, so he took it (what a mistake that turned out to be). I even watched a friend of hers run into to temple, all out of breath, thinking she was going to be too late, and I thought -why is she in such a rush, we have 10 minutes before we should even be in the waiting room.

I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this.

Justin finally got off the phone, and since this is a private blog now, I'll share part of that story as well. The short version is, he was offered a new job (within his current company) that came with a promotion, raise, travel, managing employees -everything he has been looking for AND it was remote, which meant he would still work from home most of the time. The official offer came 3 hours before the sealing, and he accepted.

The phone call was to take back the offer. ????? I know, we're a little confused. It could be worse, because he already had received a more modest salary increase and promotion in his current

position, but that only slightly lessened the blow.

Back to the temple, I hand them my temple recommend no problem. Justin hands the wor

ker his, problem. Our Stake office didn't enter in his new recommend into the computer. I left Justin at the front desk as they tried desperately to reach our Stake President. Still not thinking we were late, I just wanted to visit with my family before. I get to the waiting room -and no one was there. I seriously thought -weird, I wasn't thinking we'd be the first ones there. I sat there for a minute or two, and finally went and asked the temple worker. That's when I found out I was very late, so I ran up to the second floor, and rushed in the room. Without Justin. They were waiting for us, so they hadn't brought Jodi and Trevor in, and I figured Justin would be right

behind me.

Jodi and Trevor finally came in, still no Justin. He did finally sneak in after the sealer had begun speaking, but made it for the important part. And, because I had the time wrong, Matt and Jenny missed the temple pictures, which I feel bad about. And, my kids, but oh well. We did get a few before the dinner.

I think everything turned out just as she had hoped. It was a really nice dinner with a lot of cute little details that she worked really hard on. The cutest one was the photo booth, with Annie taking funny shots of everyone (instead of signing a guest book) as they came in.

Zumba and Spinning

So... with family pictures and a wedding all in the same week (next week), I've had ample motivation to try and lose some of that baby weight. And, if I'm lucky, the weight that crept on even before babies.

5 weeks of just tracking what I eat and getting ready for a 5K, and another 5 weeks of really strict calorie restrictions (along with walking at the park or mall with the kids), I'm happy to say I've lost 32 pounds since March 1st.

Now, I'm trying to ease myself back to a normal diet (think daily calories above 1,000), so I'm bumping up the exercise. Over the years I have learned a little something about losing weight and my body (seriously, just how often can one person lose almost 50 pounds?). I need exercise. Not simply riding a recumbent bike or walking around a park with a stroller -but serious, sweaty, heart rate near 200 beats per minute, exercise. Yes, I can't eat like a pig and work out like crazy and expect to lose, but I think most people it might be 70% diet and 30% exercise, but I don't think that's how my body works. For me... it's at least 50/50... if not leaning a little more towards the exercise.

I don't mind it all that much -because thankfully, I enjoy going to the gym. I like pushing myself and exercising using different methods, classes, and machines. However, as the number of children increase, the time I have to exercise decreases. Which is probably why I'm technically lower than I was when I got pregnant with Kate... but still have at least 20 more pounds to lose to get to where I was when I got married. (And even after that, I'm sure I'm a few inches from where I was when I got married -the joys of pregnancy and childbirth I suppose).

So... this month I'm focusing on exercise. A friend of mine recently became a certified Zumba instructor and did a class for Young Womens last month. Thank goodness for that class, because I went to a 'real' class last night. Let me tell you, this was a very authentic Zumba class -meaning it was taught by a latin guy (Camilo Jimenez) who REALLY enjoyed his Zumba.

These were my observations.

There were about 4 different types of people there. 1- the little skinny girls right up next to the mirrors -trying to see what they look like at a club, and they dressed accordingly. Seriously ladies, I know it's Zumba -which is essentially aerobics with dance moves, but you could put SOME clothes on. And maybe pull your hair back in a pony tail -that's just nasty.

2-I'm pretty sure the teenage boys were there to try and learn how to dance at the next junior high stomp. And yes, I just said stomp.

3- Most were like me. Different levels of fitness levels, different levels of coordination (I'm on the LOW end of that spectrum) but there to get a good work out and have some fun doing it.

4-And the MOST embarrassing by far -the 40 year olds that were shamelessly flirting and at times throwing themselves towards our little latin lover. Yes, many moves are slightly (or highly) suggestive, and could be seen in the middle of a club floor (or even a bedroom), but you're just embarrassing yourself ladies.

That was last night. I went back to the gym that I went to when we lived in our apartment in Holiday -which is where I used to take a spinning class a couple times a week. I really loved the instructor, and I noticed she is STILL teaching Tuesday and Thursday mornings. So, at 5:20 I woke up and went back to the gym.

To be honest, this is more up my alley. People who take spinning classes dress accordingly, don't wear make up, pull their hair up, and are there to work. There are no mirrors, the lights are usually turned down really low or even off, and you don't have to have any coordination above the level necessary to NOT fall off the bike. Which, is more like my level. Heart rate gets up to 180 almost immediately and hovers around 190-200 the entire 55 minutes -which for me, means serious calories lost. Just what I needed.

Now all I need is a nap!

Easter revisited

True to our little family tradition, we didn't just celebrate once.

Sunday morning the kids had a few goodies (no candy) in their easter basket.

I attempted (and failed, for the most part) to get some pictures. I didn't really buy specific easter outfits this year. We have family pictures and a wedding next month and they both have very cute spring-y outfits that they won't be wearing until minutes before the camera starts shooting.

After church we headed over to celebrate with Justin's mom's family. A few photo opp's with grandmas, and yet another Easter egg hunt.

Then off to the Hardcastles for a serious egg dying contest.

We had a dremel, silk ties, vinyl, and paperclips out. And, of course, a few traditional egg dying kits from the store. Here are the results...

We had a 3 way tie between 2nd place (my mom only had 2 prizes).

Justin's won 1st place

and Jenn's won second.