It's strange that a loss that is so familiar can still be so painful.
It's different this time. A little easier, I think. Some of the waiting and wondering were over much quicker. I knew immediately.
But, that meant that I hurt immediately as well.
I once asked a friend, who was having her own struggle, if she would rather go without, or have... and then have not.
She chose rather quickly. She would rather have, and then have not.
I find myself here once again.
I had. It was wonderful, and exciting, and scary and fun.
And I lost.
I have a beautiful baby, who has given my life more fulfillment than I thought was possible. He is happy for no reason, loves no matter what, and is excited for everything. I know there are many of you that long for that, and my heart breaks for you.
I hope we all get what our hearts desire, and pray that we have the patience to wait and handle the challenges that may come.
Melanie, I am so sorry. I hope you find peace and give that sweet little Hyrum an extra love tonight and every night.
ReplyDeleteXO
you guys are in our prayers. we love you.
ReplyDeleteWow,I somehow missed this when skipping through your blog and just found it. I am truly sorry Mel...did you write this? It is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteIn a wierd way, I feel like I understand what you're going through. Love ya